Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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