Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
