i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
barbara walters just said penis...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
