I can text with my tongue
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize