Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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