There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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