So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
