I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
