Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i already hear my dad disowning me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
