she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
