and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
