How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
