at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
