yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
