You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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