Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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