Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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