Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
