I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
