Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There r osticjed everywhere
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
