Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
