Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
