im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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