Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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