a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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