wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
