we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I want her autograph on my taint
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
