i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
