how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I believe in your delicious
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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