i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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