and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize