I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
