life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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