worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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