You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
