can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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