I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
