Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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