8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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