I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
