C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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