There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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