Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
