dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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