Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
