why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
