I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
