she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
