I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
