I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I cannot find my penis.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
