she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
