i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
