i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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