Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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