her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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