We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
