He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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