Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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