So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
