I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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