It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
