At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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